...part two

(I really have to catch up, funny how life just keeps going!)

Anyway, I stayed at the hospital long enough to see my ex-stepfather off on the helicopter. I collected his house key so that his cat could be fed. While I was there I also took a phone call from my brother. He actually lives here too, but was at work at the time and grandma didn't have his work number. My brother is a lot like his dad, minus the abusive side. They even have the same birthday. He was also always a hyper thing, probably he would be diagnosed as attention deficit now days. I love my brother, but I always dread talking on the phone to him (if you ever stumble on this bro, sorry!) because he always finds something to get worked up about. There is always some injustice for him to go on about. I picture him pacing back and forth, working himself into a frenzy. So, when the nurse at the hospital told me he was on the phone, I took a big breath and answered it. He was talking about leaving work so he could come to the hospital; I told him they were about to load him on the helicoptor so there really wasn't any point. Besides, he needed to feed his dad's cat. I told him I would bring him the house key. Ok. He wanted to talk to his dad, so I passed the phone over. After some back and forth and a "no you don't, I changed the locks" from my ex-stepfather, all was settled.

I watched them load him on the copter while I stood in the parking lot, talking to my grandma on the phone. She was frantic about someone going to Indy to be there with him. I told her I would co-ordinate with my brother and sister and we would work something out. I figured some phone calls and I would be off the hook at last.

Back at home I finally got my sister on the phone. I figured by now she had heard. I figured wrong. She had been busy with my niece and was just on her way out the door to a job interview when I called. I filled her in quickly, told her to go to the job interview and call me when she was done. The flight to Indy takes 35 minutes and none of us could get to the hospital that fast anyway. She agreed with a little nudging. Then, after we got off the phone she checked her answering machine and got all of grandma's tearful messages. *Sigh* She called and put off the interview (apparently she really already had the job and it was a formality) and called me back. She wanted to go see him, she had someone who could watch her daughter (almost 3) but her car's air conditioning was out. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I can take our car and pick you up." In my defense, this IS my sister, my BABY sister, and she was obviously in distress. Plus I knew she had never driven to Indy alone and her husband was working and.... crud.

I packed an overnight bag, made arrangements for my daughter to go to her dad's house, my husband told me he could have his mom take him to work in the morning (remember my van, in the shop?) drove to my brother's job and gave him the key to feed the cats and told him to check the mail too, and headed to Attica to get my sister. It is about a 2 hour drive. From Attica, it is about another hour drive to Indy. Coming in a way I have never come in, not even as a passenger. I was expecting to get lost. I had directions, looked up by my husband and given over the phone to me at my sister's house. Amazingly, we did fine, didn't have a problem. Except that gas station we finally stopped at when we were on fumes that had a sign up: SORRY OUR CREDIT CARD MACHINE IS DOWN. CASH ONLY! Darn good thing I made a point of stopping at the Clinton WalMart to use my debit card to buy some snacks and get 40 dollars cash!

We got to Indy, we found the hospital and parked in ye big old parking garage. We made our way through the maze to the Emergency Room, which was where he still was. It turns out that his sister, my aunt (yeah, I claim the whole family still, most of them are really good people, my aunt is an angel) and her husband had come in from Bloomington. Now, you have to know something about my aunt. Years ago, if my math is right about 18 years ago, she was in a car wreck and suffered a broken neck. Doctors said she wouldn't walk again. She was determined and prooved them wrong. She not only walked but she went on to get her Nursing Degree and worked as an RN for a long time. But, she started having some problems about 3 years ago and now she mostly gets around in a scooter. She has a cane and can still walk short distances.

So we walk into the ER and there is my aunt in her scooter by the bed and her husband standing there. I won't bore you with the LONG ER details. Basically, they were not sure what was going on, but his kidneys were not working right and his electrolytes were out of wack. We got there around 7 or 8pm, we switched off stayin with him and waiting in the waiting room till around 11pm (he still didn't have a room and was waiting in a hallway at that point). My aunt said she wasn't comfortable leaving yet, because with his labs so out of wack anything could happen. So, it was decided we would get a hotel room and my sister and I would go sleep till 4am, and then come back and give them the hotel key so they could get some sleep. Good thing we all packed over night bags.

Sis and I ordered a pizza, ate, dealt with another phone call from our brother where I had to talk him down from driving up (really, he would have gotten himself thrown out of the hospital or arrested or something with all his ranting), and then my sister went to sleep. Me, the insomniac? I wasn't able to drift off till after 3. 4 am wake up call. Oh yeah. However I DID get a HOT shower!!! (remember, huge gas bill we are trying to pay off before winter?) We headed to the hospital and found them in the Critical Care waiting room, sleeping on couches and chairs along with all the other worried families. My sister, who can sleep anywhere claimed a couch and a blanket and was softly snoring before long. Me, I camped next to the coffee/cappicino/hot chocolate machine (FREE!!! YUM!!) and knitted by the dim light coming in from the hallway. No sleep for me.

It was nearly 1 pm when my aunt and uncle (? never called him that before, they married long after my mom divorced my stepfather) got there. We established that his labs were getting better and my sister managed to get his car key from him, which meant I could drive straight home, bringing her with me (YAY! a one hour trip instead of a 3 hour trip) so she could get his car, which has AC and would allow her to travel back and forth from Attica to Indy to check on him. Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel for me.

And really, that is the end of that. We came back, she got the car, I came home. I don't mean to overlook my ex-stepfather. He is STILL in the hospital, but out of Critical Care. Could be all the pain medicine he's been taking, combined with his excessive drinking finally caught up to him, could be a really extreme case of gout. They still are not sure. He is probably out of the woods, but still too weak to go home. I check in with my sister now and then to see how things are going.

At home, we have been waging a war with my son (remember, visiting for a month). And that will have to wait for tomorrow because my fingers are tired and well, I don't relish being in tears right now.

More fun...

Where I've Been... part 1

Last Wednesday I got a call from my Grandma (ex- step- actually, but the best grandma I ever had). She was obviously upset and probably crying. My first thought was that something had happened with Grandpa. Grandpa is really old and has one carotoid artery completly blocked and the other is about 95% blocked. Doctors are amazed that he is still going. But it wasn't Grandpa, it was my ex- stepfather who was in trouble.

Last year my grandparents moved to South Carolina to be close to their youngest son, my uncle. He is doing well there and bought them a condo and looks after them. The thing is their other son, my ex-stepfather, lives here in Indiana still. He is an alcoholic, 50 years old and has been out of work for 6 months due to a back injury. My brother and I are the only ones who are here in the same town as him. Which leads us back to the distressed phone call I got from my grandmother.

Me: Hello?

Grandma: J----? I couldn't get ahold of B---- (my sister who lives an hour and a half away) or S----n (my brother) so I called you. St---- is at Regional Hospital and they are going to life line him to Indianapolis.

Me: What happened?

Grandma: He's been really sick, J----. They think he is going into shock. Can you get to the hospital? There is no one there.

Me: Ok, yeah. Umm, my van is in the shop but I will get a ride.

Grandma: Ok, hurry.

I called my husband and had him come home from work to stay with the kids and so I could take his car. While I was waiting, I saw the medic helicopter fly over head towards the hospital. (I live very close to it.) As soon as my husband was out of the car, I was in it, his keys and all.

I got there in plenty of time, there is a lot of stuff involved in getting someone transfered and actually on the helicopter, especially when no one is really sure what is wrong with the patient.

He looked awful. His forehead and around his eyes was so swollen that contrast with his chin made his head look skeletal. His eyes were almost swollen closed. His coloring wasn't right either. They had like 5 bags hanging running into 2 IVs, one in each arm. He was hooked up to monitors. It was pretty scary.

I wonder what he thought when he saw me. We are not close at all. In fact, when I was a child, I was subjected to abuse by him. He was an alcoholic and a drugie and I watched him beat the crap out of my mom on more than one occasion. Later on he sexually mollested me. Leaving him was the best thing my mom ever did. But, he is my brother and sister's dad. And they were too small to really remember much of what happened. And his mom *IS* my grandma, no matter what anyone says, our birthdays are a day apart and I was always very close to her. And I've grown up and gotten past the hate I felt for him; it did take some time. He used to buy me Christmas and Birthday presents long after my mom divorced him. I always figured he had a certain measure of guilt about stuff that motivated him. And when I was 19, pregnant and stupid enough to wind up in jail for shop lifting, he was the one who posted my bail. I remember him saying that jail was no place for a pregnant woman. So as time passed, wounds healed. And now, here I was, the only person close enough to come to the hospital in his hour of need. Fate is a comedianne.

to be continued....

Having a little fun...

I've been playing this mindless online game for a little while and thought I would share it with anyone who is bored enough to be reading my blog. Besides the game could always use a little fresh blood, er, new meat, um... well. Ok, look into my eyes (insert swirling eyes here) :GO READ THE BIG RED LETTERS TO THE LEFT, THEN FOLLOW THE LINK!

Ok. This insane post brought to you by Insomniacs for World Domination. Have you hugged an insomniac today?

Sleep, Where Art Thou?

I have got to get my days and nights swapped back to normal again...

Anyway, I nursed the kiddo back to health and she was able to attend VBS Tuesday and has been going all week now. She is playing Mary in her classes skit... should be interesting.

Tackled the garage today... Well, started on the garage. It is nearly to the ceiling with boxes and bags from our move in two years ago. Hubby has boxes and boxes of comics, collectible cards and computer disks. I spent hours out there sweating my butt off (wouldn't be great if you really could sweat it off?) and probably got about 1/6th of the way through it. I declare, I WILL HAVE A YARDSALE this year! I have lots of clothes to unload, etc... But, the comics and cards are staying put, unfortunately. Man, they better be worth something one day!

Listed some VHS tapes, a book and a PS2 game on ebay tonight while I was busy not sleeping. Hope they sell, but if they don't they go in the yardsale.

Now, I am just up and rambling. Good thing I have this self indulgent blog to ramble to. : )

Sick Kiddo

The Kiddo came back from her dad's house sick. This seems to happen a lot. It is really frustrating. Plus, Vacation Bible School starts tonight and she *REALLY* wants to go. When I took her temperature this morning and told her she still had a fever she got so mad because she wants to go to VBS. Poor thing. I told her she might have to miss today, but maybe she will be better tomorrow. I hope so.

I wanna be a Meeple!

One of our favorite games is Carcassonne. We like it so much that we have two basic sets AND all the expansions and we run a Mega Carcassonne game at our conventions. The little wooden people that are used in the game are known to gamers as meeples. Recently I found a site that sells cool meeple themed stuff, meeplepeople! I am hoping to get them to sponsor our game and provide some prize support. And frankly, I'm saving up for a Get Your Geek On meeple shirt to wear to conventions!

Chaos Rules My Life

Kiddo is still at her dad's house. But my middle child is here. The step-son was supposed to come up and stay at the mother-in-laws but his mother didn't plan well and didn't have money for gas to meet hubby at the halfway point. They invited hubby down there for the weekend, but hubby has to work Saturday morning... *sigh* So, the middle child is bored, as he doesn't have anyone to go play games with and swim with (he would have hung out at the mother-in-laws to play with the step-son if he were there.) Apparently, NEXT weekend, kiddo will be here, although she should be at her dad's as that is his regular weekend, and hubby IS going down to visit, even though he has to work that Saturday morning too... and the middle child is going with him to camp out with the step-son. *blink* This is of course ALL subject to change at half a moments notice.

Can I move into someone's basement for the summer....please?

One of Each and Walmart

I am usually very paranoid about taking pain medicine and then driving. Last night I was in major pain and took both a Darvocet and an Ultram (a little trick I learned back when I had my wisdom teeth out). 30 minutes later, I was feeling better and wanting Circus Peanuts. So at 12:30 AM I hopped in the car and drove to WalMart. Not a thought about pain meds.

Now, you are probably thinking "ut oh", but it went fine. I did some shopping, got my goodies and drove back home with no problems. It wasn't until I was climbing back into bed that I realized I'd taken not one but two pain meds and then drove. Which means I must be building up a bit of a tolerance to them. *sigh* This worries me.

I have watched my mother build up tolerances to pain meds to the point where they don't help her pain. Then the Docs move her to something stronger. She is now on methadone and needs to take two sometimes to cut the pain. This is not where I want to go. This is why I ignore the pain until I can't take it any more before I take a pill (or two).

Letting Go.

Back at the begining of the year my oldest daughter decided she didn't like the rules in my house and stopped coming for visitation. It was an ugly scene because she chose to get physical with her step dad, shoving him into the wall. Now, my first born is no petite girl-ly girl and there was only one thing to do, call the sherrif and have her removed. If we had tried to physically restrain her, someone was bound to get hurt. She hauled 5 or 6 trash bags of "her stuff" out of the house (she had lived here for a few months the year before and had a lot of stuff here, but I never got to go through and see just what she took.) Months later she showed up at my door wanting to claim the rest of "her stuff", which resided in a closet in the room the kids use when they visit. She brought the sherrif with her this time. I relayed to him that she had decided she was too grown to obey the rules in my house and had elected to no longer visit so I was not interested in allowing her into my home as long as that was how she felt. I also told him that she took bags full of stuff when she left and I wasn't going to allow her to dig through my stuff (just about everyone has property in the extra closet). He told her if there was anything of value here she wanted she should get a lawyer. Like I said, the whole thing was ugly.

I've only talked to or seen her since then when picking up her brother, who is much easier to handle when she isn't here. Usually she sticks her head out the door to see if her sister is with me and comes out to talk to her, ignoring me. I've tried to break the ice a little, give her an out because I remember what it is like to be a teen who thinks they know everything and I know that it is hard to swallow your pride and smooth things over with a parent. I won't bend over backwards though. I will not lay out a welcome mat and invite her to walk all over me, my husband and the rest of the family. I've sat and heard her sob stories about her dad, comisserated with her on the subject (he and I flat out do not get along and he was very abusive to me) and I even opened my home to her and let her move in once. But I know that right now, she is "daddy's darling" because she isn't speaking to me. I am sure she's boo-hooed to him and his live in girlfriend about me and I've seen and heard evidence of how they buy her love.

Someday she will grow up for real and have real life experiences and find out the truth about how it is.

I cleaned out the closet today. I have 3 bags of clothes and a tote with dolls, make-up, shoes and other misc. stuff. Tomorrow I pick up my son for a month so I will drop off her stuff when I get him.

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