and her Crazy Readers!
Ok, instead of blogging here about my awful life, I have been polluting
CAP's comments (sorry Laurie!) and now I must elaborate on why I am not hosting Christmas Eve... Well, I guess I don't HAVE to, but you see I've already writen a big long explanation tossing in quaint tidbits about my wacky family.... ENJOY!
I've been the driving factor in keeping our Christmas Eve tradition alive in my family every since my aunt (who took it over from my grandmother when her health deteriorated) abandoned hosting the event after remarrying for the umpteenth time. I have never spent a Christmas Eve away from my immediate family (Mom, sister and brother I lived with at a bare minimum and usually lots of extended family too.) We always exchanged gifts that night, had ham and a big old batch of home-made mac and cheese. When I was a kid, there were 4 grand-children and our grandparents lavished gifts on us as did my at-one-time rich uncle (who wound up in a motorcycle gang and in prison eventually ( but that is a whole other story!) who liked to show off his money. Perhaps it wasn't really all as grand as I remember, Mom and my siblings and I spent most of the time I was growing up on some form of public aid or another and so perhaps it was the contrast of what we didn't have with the magic of Christmas that made it so great. But I suspect that it is more likely that our middle class relatives (and the use of the term middle class has never been so relative) felt a little sorry for us and went a wee bit over board on the Christmas scene. That and the severely branched family tree which landed us extra pairs of grandparents here and there and Christmas at home and at the absent parent's house, well we got high doses of sparkly lights, fattening foods, family gatherings and gifts. And there was always Great Aunt Natilie who lived several states away and managed to send me and my siblings on my dad's side cards with money every year for Christmas as well as birthdays, despite the fact that we never once sent the dear old gal a word of thanks. My dad tried to encourage us to, but didn't require us to. I wish he had. Aunt Natilie is now in a nursing home states away and, lets say, "not herself" .
These past few years our Christmas Eve gathering has been more intimate, I invite Mom and my step-dad, my sister and brother (again, the ones I grew up with, my dad's side siblings usually had their own family things and were never really part of the tradition.) I get the now 16 and 14 year olds from their dad. Sometimes I can co-ordinate Dad being there at the same time and he most likely will have my step-mom in tow (-blink-). My sister and her husband and my darling niece come, even though it is a two hour drive for them now days and my brother, the black sheep of the family in so many ways is there to remind us all why we are not a "close-knit" (Hi CAP readers!) group. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby brother, I truly do, but the boy has issues, most of which are tied to being ADHD, an alcoholic, and perhaps a bit on the autistic side (Asperger's). Mom, Sis and I, well, we just smile and shake our heads and secretly hope we are not next in line on his crisis-to-call list. No one complains about coming, everyone seems to enjoy it... but...
Mom's health isn't the greatest and financially she is in a similar boat to me. I know she would pull a last minute shopping trip for trinkets and get the kids gift cards, whether she could afford it or not. And my baby sis, bless her heart is busy with my little niece and her new job reporting for several local newspapers. Also, said niece's birthday is the 27th. My brother has mentioned over and over again how badly he wants me to meet his girlfriend. *Grimace* My sister and I can only imagine who would date are mess of a brother and then shiver. My oldest, 16, drew a line in the sand last year not too long after Christmas and while we are speaking again, she has been evolving her own social thing and probably won't be here, the 14 year old landed himself in juvenile detention shortly before Thanksgiving (yes, I do live a soap opera, thank you!) and I have no idea if he will be home for Christmas... My stepson and daughter still must be separated and so... for the first time since she was born, my daughter and I will not be spending Christmas Eve together either, she is going to her dad's... waking up there on Christmas morning. I am tagging along to my mother-in-laws (to sleep in that damn uncomfortable bed...ug!) and spend the evening with my husband, mother-in-law and step-son. It will be... different. I will try not to get depressed, or to let myself be hurt by things the MIL might say. (She is never intentionally cruel, but sometimes she doesn't understand my sensitive spots.)
So, it's a big unknown as to how I will do. But my daughter is making plans with her dad and step-mom and seems to be happy. I gave money for the Santa shop at at school and she has done her Christmas shopping. I have a few things hiding in the closet for her for Christmas and I am not worried as much as I was. I will indulge her with decorating for Christmas tonight. I will let her make ornaments for the tree and not cringe if they don't fit my "theme" or are not arranged to perfection. We've watched Santa's coming to Town and Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and the BBC version of the Snow Queen already and we will catch more Christmas shows I'm sure. I love snuggling on the couch with her and she doesn't mind too much if old mom falls asleep during the show. And despite the girls at Brownies last night that were trying to dispell the magic of Santa, she still believes.
And that is all I need for Christmas.
