In Rememberance

My 6 year old has been learning to ride a horse. Her dad has a few horses and runs a barn where he boards horses. Last night he called to tell me they were waiting on the vet to come put down my daughter's horse, Rex. Rex was old, 25 years old, but he was great with kids. And my munchkin loved him dearly. It's going to be a hard day.

Her dad picked her up just a few minutes ago, he and her step-mom are going to break the news. While he was here, she told him she wanted to paint a picture of Rex. He and I just looked at each other, I don't know how either of us kept from breaking down and crying.

So today in addition to remembering all the veterens who have given their lives for our country, we are also remembering Rex, a sweet old horse who was loved by a sweet little girl.

Falling off the Guai Train

Ok. So I have to admit that I go through periods of time where I hate taking medicine everyday and "forget" or "postpone" taking my medication. The problem is that it tends to start off as a missed dose that snowballs into this cycle of telling myself that it's the wrong time of day to take them and/or telling myself I don't need them, see, I missed a dose and feel just fine.

Yeah.

Three days later, I'm a mess. My sleep cycle is totally off kilter. I'm exhausted. I'm prone to large, slobbering, tear streaked displays of just why I really SHOULDN'T go off my anti-depressant (and synthroid, etc...). Then there's my husband to the rescue. "Are you staying caught up on your drugs?" My tearful 'No', and then him reminding me that I really need to. Then for a week or so after that, he asks everyday if I've taken my meds, till I start to resent him asking and he backs off.

I don't know why this man loves me... But he must.

So I'm back on track since yesterday, both with my prescription meds and the quaifenesin protocol. And hoping that my husband doesn't hold it against me that I chose his birthday (Friday) to have my meltdown.

My Birdies

Did I mention I have birds? The one on the right is Sunshine Blue, he's a real stinker. The one on the left I Mae Flower. Right now they are not happy with me because they haven't been allowed out of their cage much lately. I'm a bad bird mommy. But maybe they will forgive me if I bribe them with some millet (aka birdie junk food!).

Not much to report on the fibro scene today.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. I actually slept last night, got up early and didn't nap all day. Kiddo's Daisy Scout meeting didn't cause me to want to come home and drink. (Go ahead, say what you want, but 9 sqeaky 5-7 year olds do not sit still or quietly for 2 hours. And the caffeteria, where we meet? It echos like a canyon.) Of course the best way to top off a glorious day? Come home and have hubby fix dinner, put the kiddo to bed and mix up some of my Cherry-Limeade Margaritas to enjoy while watching Desperation. Desperation was only OK, but I was obligated to watch since I am a huge Stephen King fan. The margaritas however were excellent. Here's how I make 'em:

Minute Maid Cherry-Limeade
Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila
Splenda (optional)

Combine the above over ice to taste! Yummmmmmmy

A Band-aid by any other name.

I figure I've belly-ached enough and it is time to share some of the lighter side of my life.

My daughter is 6 years old, way to smart for her own good, and if I do say so myself, cute as a button. Recently we took her with us to a gaming convention up near Chicago. This was the first time we'd taken her with us to one of these and it was around a four hour drive to get there. I was really impressed with how well she did on the trip. Even with packing her LeapPad, books, and the Nintendo DS (armed with a game she hadn't played yet as well as some videos she didn't know we had), I had expected her to either get bored and whiney or to fall asleep. She surprized me by doing neither.

On the way we made a stop for a restroom break and to pick up drinks at one of these. I was expecting some awe from the kiddo as we were walking over the busy tollway. She ventured a glance out the windows and then expressed her glee at there being a Starbucks inside. *Sigh* Does anyone else have a 6 year old addicted to Starbucks??? Oh, but it gets better. We paid a visit to the ladies room, both of us in dire need of "emptying our teakettles", as my mother-in-law would say. She usually will go into a stall alone, except in places she isn't used to, so we shared one of the handicap stalls. Now it just so happens that it was that time of the month for me. (You see where this is going, don't you?) My observant 6 year old daughter pipes up, "What's that?" pointing to the tampon I've tried to sneak out of my purse, open and insert. Well, she has to learn sometime, right? So I delicately inform her that when girls get older they bleed a little sometimes and it was for that. She digests this for a moment and I tell her not to worry about it till she is a little more grown up. She immeadiately comes back with, "Yeah, until I'm a grown up, I'll just use a band aid when I bleed!" Bless her heart. She had no idea why I was laughing.

Of course, my husband told me that it will come back to haunt me someday soon, when someone cuts themself and she tells them they need a tampon.

Sunday Blues

This has been the worst Sunday. My daughter came back from her dad's early because she didn't want to go to church. Normally this would be ok, except I was the only person home and I was up all night, unable to sleep between pain and being alone. She's been a trooper though. Letting me sleep for a while even though it means she can't go out and play or have friends over. Then she started complaining about aches and pains. I tend to freak out about her pains. I'm pretty sure she is doomed to suffer from fibro also and we have already had some experience with her having joint problems. As it turns out she seems to be running a fever, so she joined me in bed after a dose of ibuprofen. And we've been laying here in bed being miserable together.

I have to tell you, misery doesn't always love company.

And so it begins...

I started what is labeled as an experimental treatment for my fibro today. Ok, technically yesterday since it is after midnight. Details, details. I have begun what is known as the Guaifenesin Protocol. It's been about 5 hours since I took the first dose and so far I have not noticed any increase in my symptoms. The doseage is determined by starting with 300 mg twice a day and then titrating (gradually increasing the dosage over time) until you notice an increase in your symptoms and then maintaining that dose.

Now, if you are like most people, you are probably thinking "WHY ON EARTH WOULD A PERSON WANT TO INCREASE THE SYMPTOMS OF FIBROMYALGIA???" Seriously, aside from my occasional masochistic tendancies (just kidding.... or am I?), I really don't want to increase my pain. Apparently, in order to reverse my condition, I must relive abbreviated past episodes of my symptoms, aches, pains, etc... as the build up of stuff (phosphates? toxins? too many tootsie rolls?) is cleared out of my system.

I make light of it, but really folks, I am serious. You can't live with this disease and not want to find an out. Lots of people out there on the net seem to be having good results from this. I've researched it, agonized over it, discussed it with my husband. And now I am going to document it here. For better or worse.

Welcome to my world.

Raincheck

It was my intention to start this blog with some humorous tale about life as the mother of a six year old daughter who is too smart for her own good. But today the pain is bad. Bad enough I have finally decided to embark on a journey that will hopefully lead me out of the dark fibro forest. Bad enough that I would normally say "screw it" and not even attempt to start a blog. However, part of the journey I am setting out on involves documenting, keeping track of where I am and being honest about it. And the truth of today is pain. Pain is not funny. If you suffer from Fibromyalgia then you already know this. So for today I can only offer you a raincheck on the funny stuff.